If I Were a Political Cartoonist

By Eric Abrahamsen, published

If I were a political cartoonist, of the WWII-era ilk where they label everything in the cartoon so the point gets across better, I would draw a cartoon to illustrate China’s “Going Out,” the policy which is meant to bring Chinese culture to the rest of the world, and it would look something like this:

A patch of land representing China; in the center stands The Leader (it says that on his chest). He gazes off into the distance, one hand pointing outwards in the best 指点江山 style, and the words “Going Out Policy” are written on that sleeve. The other hand is loading sumptuous food onto crescent tables to either side of him. The food could be labeled “Government Budget,” but that should be self-explanatory. Seated around the outside of the tables are a host of people we could label “Government Functionaries,” until I think of something better.

The functionaries are shoveling food into their mouths, their gazes fixed in rapt devotion upon The Leader. They’ve all scootched backwards until their rear ends hang out over the border of China, and they’re saying things to The Leader like: “We have ‘Gone Out,’ and it is wonderful!,” and, “The foreigners are all amazed!”

Meanwhile, a few big-nosed foreigners (in berets and cowboy hats!) are standing around the outside of the border, looking at this line of plumber’s cracks, and asking each other, “What on earth are they trying to tell us?”

If only I could draw…


# 1.   

Man with a "cultural diplomat" badge on his lapel and a KTV girl on his knee asking, "OK, so you tell me what the 'going out' budget is for?"

Culture Ministry presents plan to send more Chinese opera troupes out to other countries, but it is refused because that falls under the psy-ops budget?

I want to know when Sun Wukong is going to get a look-in. That Hong Kong movie was a pile of arse, but I still think that Monkey has the potential to be China's best export by a long way. If someone could just unclench a little bit and fund something interesting.

Phil Hand, September 5, 2014, 3:46a.m.


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